The latest attempt to reboot the Fantastic Four franchise is a bomb. So let’s fix it using new cast members from the world of college football.
I have been on a bit of a superhero kick this summer at the movies. The second installment in The Avengers franchise finished on a high note and set the scene for what’s coming up in Marvel’s plans, and Ant-Man was a nice surprise. While I have not seen it yet, the latest resurrection of the Fantastic Four franchise seems to be going about as well as SMU’s chances to win the College Football Playoff. Actually, that may be unfair to SMU given the reviews.
I am not sure if the cast is the problem with the movie, but I decided to try and recast it with faces from around the world of college football. Hey, it can’t be any worse, can it?
Reed Richards (Mister Fantastic): This one was particularly difficult to come up with. Who in the college football universe is scientifically gifted enough and possesses the leadership skills and flexibility to fill the role of the leader of Marvel’s original team of superheroes? We’re going to go with UCLA’s Myles Jack, a player who has proven capable of playing multiple positions effectively.
Johnny Storm (Human Torch): To fill the role of the Human Torch we need someone who can talk the talk and live large while torching defenses. Enter Nebraska wide receiver and special teams star De’Mornay Pierson-El. Pierson-El led the Big Ten last season with three punt returned for a touchdown and an average of 17.53 yards per punt return. A freshman in 2014, Pierson-El put together 321 receiving yards and should become more of a threat in the open field this season for the Cornhuskers.
Sue Storm (The Invisible Woman): Beth Mowins, hands down. The woman calls college football games every Saturday afternoon, yet she may as well not even be in the booth with the amount of people taking to Twitter to rip Pam Ward. Mowins also has a super power of her own, having the ability to carry a broadcast while in the same booth as Joey Galloway.
The Thing (Ben Grimm): A gentle giant, The Thing carries with him a soft heart for those deserving of it but will not waste a second hesitating using his strength to his advantage when needed. Penn State defensive lineman Anthony Zettel seems to fit this description, as evidenced by his ability to tackle a tree and having a good laugh from time to time.
Dr. Doom: There can only be one man from the college football world that fills the role of Dr. Doom so perfectly. Alabama head coach Nick Saban is always doom and gloom yet possess the power to be the most powerful man in college football. Despite all of his seemingly limitless power, he has been defeated by the so-called good guys each of the last two seasons.
Honorable Mentions from Twitter
Some that were considered for various roles…
— Clay Sauertieg (@CSauertiegPSU) August 11, 2015
— Alton Thompson (@altontw) August 11, 2015